The hammer of Thor / Rick Riordan.

Could you please stop killing my goat? -- Your standard rooftop chase scene with talking swords and ninjas -- My friends protect me by telling me absolutely nothing. thanks. friends -- A cheetah runs me over -- My sword has a better social life than I do -- Love me some weasel soup -- Have you or someone you love ever suffered from Lindworms? -- I am saved from certain death by being killed -- Never take a bubble bath with a decapitated God -- The most Awkward viking Luau ever -- What's guy gotta do to get a standing ovation? -- Samirah and magnus sitting in a Tree, T-A-L-K-I-N-G -- Relax, It's just a little death prohphecy -- Cry me a blood river. Wait, Actually. don't -- All in favor of slaughtering magnus, please say aye -- Herthstone unleashes his inner bovine -- Uncle Randolph gets on my naughty list BIG-TIME -- I need to learn many, many more cusswords in sign language -- Should I be nervous that the Pilot is praying? -- In case of demonic possession, please follow Illuminated signs to the nearest exit -- Loiterers will be shot, then arrested and shot again -- Pretty sure hearthstone's dad is a cow-abducting alien -- Yep, his other car is definitely a UFO -- Oh, you wanted to breathe? That'll be an extra three gold -- Hearthstone? more like heartthrob. Am I right? -- We nuke all the fish -- Let me go immediately, or I will make you a billionaire -- And if your order now, you also get this cursed ring! -- Nokk, Nokk -- Somewhere over the rainbow, there's some messed-up stuff going on -- Heimdall takes a selfie with literally everyone -- Godzilla sends me an important message -- Falafel break? yes, thank you -- We visit my favorite mausoleum -- We have a tiny problem -- Solving problems with extreme fashion -- Meat s'mores roasting on an open fire -- You will never, ever guess blitzen's password -- Elvis has left the bowling bag -- Little billy totally deserved it - When in doubt, turn into a biting insect -- Or you could just glow a lot. that works, too -- You keep using the word help, I do not think it means what you think it means -- We are honored with runes and coupons -- Pigtails have never looked so frightening -- Here comes the bride and/or the assassin -- I prepare for funkytown combat -- All abroad the cheesy gordita express -- Thrym! -- A little refreshing poison in your face, sir -- Helloo, Paranoia, my old friend -- My uncle gets some backup singers -- It's hammer time! (Someone had to say it) -- Squirrels in the window may be larger than they appear -- Diasies in the shape of an elf -- Let's try this whole "meeting for coffee" thing again -- I call in some favors.

"Magnus and friends help the god of thunder find his missing weapon before all Muspellheim breaks loose"-- Provided by publisher.